Perseverance
by xSn0wangel
Summary: Bullying isn't a new thing for Natsu but this time his tormentors take things too far. Rated T for slight language and homophobia. Gratsu two-shot! Heavily edited 2.8.16 but same plot (:
1. Chapter 1

I was washing my hands in the ceramic sink when the three of them walked in. Of course out of anywhere else in the school, they'd ambush me in the one place my boyfriend wouldn't follow me. I've never been able to figure out why people hate me so much.

Sting tightly gripped my arms and slammed my back against one of the metal doors of the bathroom stalls. I gasped slightly at the unnecessary blunt force of it. Considering he was the quarterback of the football team, he was so thick with muscle that I didn't stand a chance at breaking out of his grip, but I struggled anyways because I never knew when to give up.

"You ready Minerva?" he asked without looking back and smirked in a way that unnerved me even more. I briefly wondered why no one cared that there was a girl in the boy's bathroom, but then again she was more ruthless and cold than any guy at this school. Though she rarely dished out the pain, out of the three bullies, she was certainly the ring leader.

"Of course," Minerva answered with what sounded like an amused tone. I guess I didn't see what was so funny about ganging up on the gay kid, but that had to be why they were targeting me again. It was the only thing most people even knew about me in the first place.

When I came out, there were all kinds of backlash and overnight I became enemy number one. It was only when Gray defended me and admitted that he was gay as well that the bullies moved to other victims. For some reason, being captain of the varsity soccer team gave Gray a lot of credibility that I sure didn't have as a member of the cross country team.

"Do you think he's struggling too much?" muttered Rogue. The dark haired kicker of the football team didn't have a shining role on the team, yet he was nearly as popular as his best friend Sting. I used to think he was in the closet for the blonde quarterback until he started dating some bimbo cheerleader a few months ago.

"Nah he'll stop, trust me."

All of a sudden, Sting released one of my arms and I winced as his hand came towards my face.

But the blow I was anticipating never came.

My free hand went up to press against his chest in a futile way to get him away from me. I had to try to stop him if only to lessen the pain a little bit. Most of the time, the bullies thrived more on humiliation than actually hurting me and honestly both were just as painful.

His fingers tangled in the hair at the nape of my neck and his eyes were hardened as he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine.

Well, he was right.

I was so shocked that my brain couldn't process what the hell was going on and I was completely frozen in his grip.

The kiss lasted for one….two seconds until I finally regained my senses and slammed my free fist into his cheek to get the bastard off of me. I doubt it ultimately did too much damage, but he elbowed my stomach for good measure before backing away entirely.

"How'd it turn out?"

I rubbed out the pain in my abdomen as I struggled to get my breathing back to normal. He'd kissed me! Sting, the blonde haired, heart breaking, football player had kissed me! My lips were tingling slightly and I rubbed them vigorously with the back of my hand.

When I looked up from the floor, I saw the three jerks all staring at what I assumed to be Minerva's magenta phone.

"It's even better than I thought!" laughed Sting. "And the little queer looks like he's grabbing onto my shirt and everything!"

They all smiled at my confused face before turning the phone around for me to see what was so damn hysterical.

My eyes nearly popped out of my head as I took in the seemingly candid photo of Sting and me: making out! I'd closed my eyes when I thought he was going to punch me and was I, blushing? It was so mortifying that it had even happened, but for them to take a picture of it too? Why would they use me like that?

Minerva flipped the phone back around and the two football players watched as she typed away on the screen before cackling uncontrollably.

"We shouldn't even tell him," said Sting as he threw an arm around Rogue's shoulders. "It'll be funnier that way when he finds out!"

The dark haired boy nodded and they fist bumped before all three of them abruptly left the bathroom.

I stared after them worriedly, but sighed knowing that there wasn't anything I could do to stop them from doing whatever they had planned. Splashing some water on my face and rubbing aggressively at my lips once again, I hoped Gray and I could spend some time together after practice. I seriously needed a pick-me-up after that whole ordeal.

Thinking about my boyfriend made me smile especially because he always knew how to cheer me up.

L7L7L7L7

Gray didn't say anything as he pulled me by the arm to the locker room and I was quiet as I wondered by everyone felt the need to drag me everywhere.

But I didn't complain because I was so incredibly worried. Not only had he not walked me to my last class like always, but Gray didn't visit me by my locker after school was over. We usually walked to practice together since the cross country team trained in the same arena as the soccer team, yet he avoided me altogether.

"What the fuck Natsu!?" he shouted angrily. Gray had never sounded so mad at me before, not even when we had our bantering moments. Our bickering had never escalated past annoyance towards each other.

"I know we haven't been together that long, but I thought this relationship meant more to you!"

My eyes narrowed as I tried to figure out how he'd come to that conclusion. Sure three months wasn't a crowning achievement, however that was all it took for me to fall head over heels for the guy.

This relationship, was everything to me.

"Gray, what are you-"

His humorless laugh cut me off.

"It figures you'd try to play dumb. If only I didn't have evidence."

My body went rigid at the accusation and I watched as he pulled his phone from his pocket.

When he showed me the display, it was the picture of Sting kissing me from only a few hours ago.

"It isn't what you think," I begged as I prayed he would hear me out, that he wouldn't immediately accept the picture as the truth.

"When we started this thing you promised me that you wouldn't cheat." I could see the betrayal stricken across his face. His body language was aggressive in a way that I'd only seen when immersed in a hard fought soccer game. But I wondered how on earth I had become his opponent.

My heart nearly stopped when everything began coming together and I realized the grand scheme my tormentors had put into action.

It wasn't exactly a well-kept secret that Gray had severe trust issues. Supposedly it stemmed from his parents' death in a freak accident when he was only a kid that he'd blamed on himself. But I knew that he'd really reached his tipping point when his adopted brother ran away from home three years ago and hadn't been heard from since. Everyone that he'd ever cared for had left him behind and therefore he believed that no one would stay by his side for long. He'd told me that people were liars when they used the word _forever_ because they always changed their minds.

I liked to think that I'd been helping him slowly get over his intense desire to shut everyone out of his personal life but with an infidelity by me, I wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to recover. He wouldn't let any person close enough to fight through all his walls again. I was positive he'd even reinforce his defenses after dealing with me.

"Gray, please I-"

"I'm done listening to your pathetic lies! We're through! Don't ever talk to me again."

Before I could react, he was walking away and my eyes were filling with tears because even if there was something I could say, anything I could do, he wasn't going to forgive me.

It hurt so much to know that something so little as a picture had not only had this broken him but had shattered me.

He had been the foundation for my crumbling world.

After my father passed away two years ago, during my freshman year of high school, my uncle who lived on the other side of the country helped me emancipate myself. I lived alone in a small apartment about one block from school and due to my independence, small portions of my trust fund covered any financial expenses I had.

My grades had tanked when my father had gotten sick, so I'd transferred schools after his funeral. It was simply too painful facing friends that had spent the night at my house, had dinner with my dad, and asked about him when they'd heard he was admitted to the hospital.

Emotionally distant from the loss, I was quickly made into an outcast at my new school. It took about a year for a couple people to care enough to try to break through my shell and helped me slowly return to a semblance of my former self. However, when I came out, they turned their backs on me which made me an easy target to be bullied relentlessly. I tried to understand how my friends felt but I couldn't figure out how to gain their approval again so I gave up on relying on others once more. That is, until Gray wormed his way into my life.

He had a way of knowing what would get under my skin and what would get a reaction out of me. It made me feel human again, like I didn't need to be so caught up in my own head. Therefore, when he came out, we began hanging out all the time. His friends were instantly my friends and there was even a place for me at their table at lunch.

But now, I was alone again. I didn't have Gray, or his friends, and there was no place I belonged. Sometimes I wonder if I should've ever let Gray close to me because then maybe he wouldn't have gotten so hurt by all of my mess. Maybe I didn't truly belong anywhere.

Even so, I would always be on the cross country team because the results were solely dependent on the runner that crossed the finish line first.

And if there was one thing I was good at, it was my ability to keep on going.


	2. Chapter 2

Two months passed by agonizingly slowly as I settled back into my mundane life. It was as painfully simple as walking to school in the morning, suffering through the school day, enduring cross country practice, and spending my evenings alone in my apartment.

Without anything to do besides coursework, I poured all my extra time into running. It didn't matter how far, or the amount of time I spent, as long as I wasn't standing still because honestly, it was the perfect distraction. If my feet were hitting the grass and my body was struggling to move forwards, then my mind couldn't wander.

I couldn't think about _him_.

My hard work actually sort of paid off too. With cross country season nearing its end, somehow I'd managed to meet the requirements for the state qualifying trials. I wasn't sure how to react to the news from my coach and almost immediately forfeited my spot. However, Coach Makarov was persuasive enough that I couldn't back out no matter how much I wanted to.

However, just because I was excelling at running didn't mean I could really escape my problems. The bullying had become constant and overwhelming most of the time. I stopped eating lunch in the cafeteria to avoid having food thrown all over me, no longer used the locker room because of the spiteful accusations that I was checking everyone out, and stopped using my locker since my stuff kept getting destroyed. Even the kids on the cross country team started messing with me. They did stupid things like dumping my water all over the ground and whispering hateful nicknames while sprinting past me, but it still hurt.

I also hated how much the bullies affected my self esteem. I'd never considered myself to be particularly attractive, but I figured if someone as good looking as Gray was interested in me then I wasn't outright ugly. Yet as the insults rained down on me, I sought to hide my body more and more.

As someone who always felt warm, I didn't even own a pair of pants until Sting made a comment about how I had fat calves for a kid with such scrawny legs. The amount of bruises on my arms bothered me, until I bought some long sleeve shirts to cover them up. When that wasn't enough, I threw on hoodies and the baggier the better. If I could disappear into my clothes then maybe I could disappear from view altogether. Maybe if they saw less, they'd have less to ridicule.

It was rock bottom, or at least I'd thought so at the time because I hadn't realized that there was one last thing that could be taken from me. Something that I'd taken for granted when everything else had crumbled down around me.

On a Thursday afternoon, one of my teachers asked me to stay behind after class, which made me late for warm-ups at practice. Knowing that Coach wouldn't mind, I didn't hurry through the halls. The school seemed pretty empty which put me as ease.

I should've been paying more attention.

Seemingly out of nowhere, two sets of arms latched onto me. Looking around in a panic, Sting and Rogue laughed at my terrified face.

"Is the little freak late to practice?" Sting said callously as his fingers dug painfully into my upper arm.

"Maybe we should give him a quick start then," suggested Rogue with a glimmer of malice in his eyes.

"I was just thinking the same thing!" The blonde fist bumped his best friend before they dragged me towards the staircase. We were only on the second floor, but looking down on the full and steep flight of stairs made my heart pound nervously. I immediately tried to break out of their hold, but when Sting's knee slammed into to the back of my thigh, I was in too much pain to struggle.

The two jocks spun me around to face them and all I saw was a pair of cruel smiles before they shoved me backwards into the stair well.

Arms flying out as if they could catch me, my mouth opened in a silent scream as terror gripped my entire body.

My back hit the linoleum covered concrete first, but my momentum carried my feet over my head, which flipped me backwards. Unfortunately, the flight of stairs was just long enough for me to land on my ankle and it bent painfully under my weight. Finally falling onto my back at the base of the staircase, I gasped for air as my body throbbed from rocking against the solid stairs.

I heard laughing from above me, but all I could do was close my eyes to try to stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. Shifting onto my side, I chanced a look at my hurt ankle and saw that it was already bright red and swelled up to nearly twice its normal size. I could handle a bruised kneecap, sore shin, or aching thigh, however this was potentially a sprained ankle that I wouldn't be able to put any weight on.

I wouldn't be able to run anymore.

Testing my ankle's tenderness with my fingers, I winced instantly. It would be weeks before I could jog again and it would have to short distances until my leg was completely healed. Months would pass and cross country season would be over and I wondered if I could continue on from this injury.

Was this the crippling blow that would finally stop me from moving forward?

Pressing my hands to my face, I sobbed because I was completely at a loss of what to do.

How could I walk home? How could I even walk at all?

"Natsu?"

Digging my nails into my scalp, I ignored the quiet attempt at getting my attention. My head was throbbing from the mixture of anxiety and pain swarming all my senses.

"Natsu, are you okay?" A hand gently rested on my shoulder and I jerked beneath its touch. I was way beyond the point of consolation, yet I couldn't fight the circles being rubbed into my back.

"Shhhhhh….it's going to be okay."

Okay? Nothing was okay. Nothing was fair either, but I'd known that ever since my father had passed away. Everything else since then was just a bonus or rather another addition to the long list of reasons proving that I should just give up already.

It was a long time before my breathing finally evened out and I opened my puffy eyes. Looking up, I saw those dark blue eyes that I'd missed so much.

"Hey," he said with what looked like relief. "Did you fall down the stairs?"

When I didn't reply, he sighed.

"How am I supposed to know what's wrong, if you won't tell me?"

Everything was wrong and I was kind of upset that he didn't already know that. He'd always been so intuitive when it came to me before. I guessed that maybe the connection that allowed him to see right through me was snapped the day he broke up with me.

"I can't run," I whispered in a voice scratchy from crying.

"It's okay. You'll heal."

My eyebrows furrowed at his prompt response.

"I can't run," I repeated because Gray simply didn't get it.

I could avoid it before by telling myself that I would be okay as long as I kept going, because things would work out if I kept moving forwards.

I was stupid to think that running was the answer. I knew that it wouldn't solve my problems and it was only avoiding the heart of what was eating at me yet, it was all I had left so I kept at it with everything I had.

Ever since I lost Gray, I'd been alone and now, I couldn't even keep going.

"Did someone push you?"

I looked at him with widened eyes because I hadn't expected him to jump to that conclusion without first asking if I'd tripped or something. Then again, he'd seen the bullies at work and what they were capable of.

"Was….was it Sting?"

"Y-yeah," I admitted with a heavy heart. He was right on the money once again.

"That bastard," he hissed. "Makes me wonder why you'd kiss a guy like him."

And there was the insinuation, the lie, the messy truth that I knew I shouldn't bother to try to contradict. Gray was already out of my life so I didn't see why it would make any difference to go against him one last time. His interaction with me now was limited, brief, I could enjoy it while it lasted but that was just it…it wasn't going to last.

"I didn't kiss him." My voice didn't waiver when I said it and if it had it wouldn't have made a difference.

"I know. I just wanted to hear you say it." He had spoken with such clarity and resolve and yet I was positive that I'd misheard him.

"What? You…you believe me?"

"You don't think that I kissed him, but you dumped me over it. You…" I swallowed thickly. "You left me alone when you didn't think that I cheated on you?" I felt my diaphragm begin to clench painfully as there was suddenly a lack of air.

"What are you playing at?" I managed to gasp before my lungs attempted to work twice as hard to expand.

"Breathe Natsu, please!"

Trying to listen to Gray, I closed my eyes as my inner long distance runner worked to control my breaths. My back screamed at the deep inhales and my head pounded at the exertion.

When he decided I was calm enough, he tried to explain himself.

"It was a recent revelation," he said as his chilly fingers cradled my head and he scooted underneath me. When he let go and I leaned back, I was laying on his thigh. I was skeptical yet my heart ached to believe him.

"My brother….my brother Lyon came home." His long lost family member that had run away so many years ago had reappeared and my ex-boyfriend could finally let go of a piece of his fractured past. I wanted to be happy for him, but I was still so numb.

"He talked some sense into me, helped me realize that the picture didn't make any sense. You cheating on me with Sting didn't make any sense." Gray paused for a few seconds and I wondered if he'd put a lot of thought into his next words. One of his hands ran over my arm in a soothing gesture that I'd remembered him using before.

"But I felt…I feel so horrible about the way I treated you. I didn't know how to make things right."

That was when my self-loathing decided to rear its ugly head once more.

"Why bother?" I asked as my eyes slid open to peer up at him. "Clearly our relationship wasn't worth the effort."

At the time I just wanted him to say something, anything that gave our three month failure some sort of meaning. I didn't want it to be a relationship doomed from the very beginning. I didn't want to be the only one that still cared.

Gray looked taken aback at my careless jibe and then his face was filled with some wistful emotion.

"I had it all planned out really." He smiled slyly as he began absentmindedly playing with my hair.

"I was going to show up at state." I tried not to let it show but I was truly touched that he knew about me qualifying. It wasn't exactly something I spread around so I didn't even know how he found out.

"Planned to make some cheesy poster board proclaiming my love or something and was going to wait at the finish line. Figured you'd at least talk to me that way."

"I wasn't the one that said not to talk to me ever again," I expressed dryly.

He looked pained at the memory.

"But it's too late isn't it? I way I reacted, I can't be forgiven can I?"

I tried to put his actions into some sort of perspective for myself. Throughout his life he'd been hurt terribly by the loss of his loved ones but I'd been crippled by the loss of my father. Gray didn't let anyone get too close yet he had a circle of friends he could turn to that accepted him even when he came out to them. While I had left behind my true friends to come to a school where I was hated and made into an outcast.

He'd seen me as a person when everyone saw me as an object of ridicule, however, he'd revoked his feelings at the smallest chance of me being unfaithful. The breakup was more painful than the last two months I'd spent alone.

Could I forgive him after everything?

Part of me screamed no. The wounds of his actions may not have been fresh, but they weren't even close to healing. At the same time I'd felt the pit of loneliness for far too long to let him go.

He'd saved me before when everything had gone wrong and this time, he owed it to me to save me again.

"I can't forgive you yet, but I want to try," I said and felt the truth of the words sink into my bruised core.

I reached up and grabbed one of his hands from my hair. Holding it in my own, I didn't say anything else, but I think he still understood the unspoken words hanging in the air.

"I love you, Natsu," Gray spoke softly yet with true conviction. "I know it's going to hurt to work through this stuff and we have a lot of catching up to do but I want to try as well."

When he leaned down and captured my lips with his own, I kissed back because I wanted to be okay again.

I wanted to try to heal all my emotional scars, to let people close again, and to let go of the pain.

Why couldn't I? I'd made it through much worse before, so I knew I could keep running.

Well, maybe I wouldn't be running anytime soon, but until then, I could lean on Gray.

And we could persevere through life together.


End file.
